My daughter and oldest child recently turned eight. Along with celebrating the blessing that she is to myself and our family has come the realization that the precious time I have to guide and mold all of my three children is in short supply.
Every day that relentlessly passes chips away at the crumbling vessel holding what is the most valuable commodity that exists in the parent-child relationship: time.
This honest introspection has led to an even more sobering realization: I haven’t been focused enough on making the most of the time I’ve been gifted to train up my children to be intelligent, bold, strong, convicted, virtuous, persevering, God-fearing adults.
As all parents do to one degree or another, I’ve squandered a portion of the valuable time available to shape them during their most impressionable years.
It squeezes my soul to contemplate the potential consequences of my being absent from my children more than was absolutely necessary. Yet, I take solace in knowing that my children also learn from watching their father live out his God-given masculinity.
I feel fortunate that my kids are still relatively young, and there’s time for me to use this revelation as motivation to take corrective action.
Nevertheless, the age of our children is never a viable excuse to become derelict in our paternal responsibilities. The fatherly influence we have over our children inevitably weakens as they grow older. But as long as there’s breath in our lungs we still have the ability (and responsibility) to endow them with our wisdom and guidance.
I could linger over wasted time lost with my children, muse over it, and wallow in regret. I could. But what purpose would that serve?
I’m a masculine man that sees situations for what they are. As such, I’m well aware that no good will come from beating myself up over all that I wish I had done differently with my children to this point in their respective lives. I haven’t one iota of control to change the past. Besides, ruminating over past mistakes only serves to drain the power I have in the here and now.
So there won’t be any self-pity party here. I won’t stew over what might have been and get down on myself; I won’t make excuses.
The weak-minded make excuses for their shortcomings and dwell on their failures. Masculine men recognize their shortcomings and take control. We man up and change course.
Our Children Can’t Afford Complacent Fathers
There’s plenty going on in the world today to motivate discerning fathers away from complacency. Given all that our children will be forced to contend with, I find it disgraceful that so many fathers pass the responsibility to educate their children to the public school system.
The public school system is part of the problem. It subliminally indoctrinates our boys and girls with progressive ideology that defies reality. Universities are bastions of liberal group think. They inculcate the next generation with postmodern philosophy and suppress the views of those that would dare challenge it’s inherent inconsistencies.
Gender is taught as being non-binary, amorphous, and abstract. The biological reality of binary genders that complement each other within a traditional family unit is presented as a detestable construct of antiquated patriarchy. Reality be damned.
The role of masculine men in society – and within the family – is being destroyed. As a result, the traditional family continues to deteriorate, with the predictable corrosion of western society following in its wake.
The related feminization of western culture has led to emotion and ad hominem attacks usurping logic and critical reasoning. Civil political discourse is now shunned in favor of character assassination, silencing opposing viewpoints, and acts of violence.
It will not be so for my children. They will be learned and articulate. They will be able to persuade others through the use of logic and reason with the understanding that having to resort to underhanded tactics only displays the weakness of the position being argued.
And then there’s the challenges so many of today’s children face within the home.
Homes with complacent or absent fathers are destroying the lives of millions of children by inhibiting them from reaching their God-given potential. Homes without strong fathers are promulgating generations of young men receiving praise for mediocrity. Kids receive participation trophies and encouragement for their shortcomings, instead of learning the value of competition, self-discipline, and personal improvement.
These coddled kids grow up to emotionally implode at the prospect of dealing with adversity in the real world. Even the mere realization that there are people who think differently than them causes their entire world to come crashing down around them.
As masculine men we cannot stand for this affront on the values the next generation needs to thrive.
It is our duty as fathers to prepare our children for the onslaught against truth and traditional values that they’ll be increasingly barraged with as they grow more independent with age and venture further out into the world without our protection.
Truth matters. And one of our primary duties as masculine fathers is to instill this value within the hearts and minds of our children.
Masculine Fathers Take Responsibility for The Lives They Create
Leading our children by example is our highest calling as masculine fathers. We have the responsibility to train them to be strong in mind, body and spirit. To be exceptional. Failing to recognize and act on this responsibility is unacceptable. We are given the incredible gift of creating life, but we’re also responsible to sacrifice all that is necessary to care for the lives that we create.
We will fall short in this at times. It’s inevitable because we’re fallible. And there’s no greater example of this than my own failure to fully leverage the time I’ve had to train up my children thus far.
But it’s not an option for us to fail our children. It’s unacceptable to give up and walk away from them. Masculine men embrace our responsibility to teach truth to our sons and daughters. To graft them into our strong and honorable family name. And to lead them by our example of pursuing greatness.
When it comes to the children that we’re responsible for creating…
We can never quit and we must never accept failure.
To paraphrase Hunter from The Family Alpha:
If you’re a father, then you played a role in creating life and that means something. It means you have a responsibility to nurture that life. No matter how awesome or awkward and uncomfortable the sex was, you made the decision to have it, and a baby was the result. I don’t care if it was with your wife or with a one night stand; if you played a role in creating a life, then you need to assume the responsibilities that come with the title Father with the full force such responsibilities rightly deserve.
Men that choose not live up to this honorable masculine calling are disgraceful. I don’t consider a man worthy of the title “Father” when he decides to terminate an unborn life he created or leave his children to fend for themselves.
“Coward” or “fool” is more fitting.
Don’t be a fool. When the time comes – whether it’s expected and desired or not – take responsibility for your actions. Rise to the occasion and answer the highest calling we have in this life as masculine men.
Be a father.
– Craig James